Melancholia At Project’s End

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My psyche and somatic systems harbor heightened sensitivities in matters of closure.

I come by them honestly by way of experience with death of a father before the age of 10, the end of a meaningful relationship for which no rite of closure was provisioned.

Ends inhabit me as a result of this developmental wiring of my personality.

Today, I close my time with WordPress on a project that means very much to me.

I imagine (and feel), as with a child who has fully grown – my relationship with WordPress changes from that of one who guides and sculpts – to one who walks beside and with.

I’m wholly happy to be stepping into this new phase of life – it was my aim and goal all along. Though I cannot ignore, and know it to be unwise to turn my attention away from, the sensations and experience inhabiting me here today, in this very moment.

I celebrate my accomplishments. I take pride in the challenges I’ve overcome. I also give my mind, psyche, and body space to mourn.

Today brings an end.

Tomorrow brings a beginning.

Tomorrow going forward – creation is the full focus of my purpose. There will continue to be acts of compassionate maintenance, updates, and upkeep – but a new Sun rises on a new mission of importance.

In my melancholy, I too find gratefulness.

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